Silver Bullets and Bleeding Hearts
by Viandra
Summary: US  Josh gets some startling News about his ex fiancée and tries to mend everything his absence has broken.But little does Josh know- there are some monsters lurking underneath his own bed.


_**This is a work of Fanfiction. I do not own the characters nor the story line of Being Human. I take credit only for my story inspired by these characters/events and the characters of my own creation within. Now with the disclaimer out of the way, a note about this story: It is based upon the American Version of this series, though fans of both the US and the UK version are more than welcome to read and comment =] The story is based upon the characters of the first season (obviously- because we have yet to see a second season) and is set after episode six. Enjoy. (and please comment, because I love to see what people have to say.)**_

___There is something about the redundancy of life that drives the human race into madness- you get up every morning, poor yourself a cup of the same old brand of coffee and sit there in your lounge chair clad in your five-year-old robe dreading the walk out the door to the job you've had longer than you'd like to remember. No matter what happens in your day, no matter your mistakes, your triumphs, your experiences- you always come back through that door to lay in that same old bed, drifting into a slumber that will start the cycle anew tomorrow. But, I ask you this: what would happen to you if something in your day so drastically affected your life that you're kept away from that door? That you're kept away from that same bed- never again to have that same old scorching morning fuel poured down your throat, never again to see the faces of those who make your life worth living…._

"Emily! Breakfast!"

Quickly, Emily slammed the journal shut and tucked it back beneath Josh's pillow and ran downstairs, unknowingly leaving Sally alone in Josh's room- a tear sliding down her face as her ghostly hand floats above the pillow that conceals the journal.

"Hey, you" says Josh, looking over at Emily as she walks through the threshold into the kitchen. He is dressed in simple pajama pants and a navy blue T-shirt, proper attire for a day off. "Did you want like some peanut butter or something for your pancakes? Or-" Emily cuts him off with a sharp wave of her hand, her face crinkled into a disapproving expression.

"I thought you were supposed to be at work? Aiden told me that it would just be me here this morning and that no one would be home until dinner time."

"Well," Josh starts, pulling out a chair for her. Once she is seated he hands her a fork and leans against the counter. "It turns out that I was supposed to be working today, but it just so happens that my sister- who is having a nervous breakdown by the way- came crawling to my doorstep looking for some support. Now, I don't know about you, but when that happens…I feel a little inclined to make some time for her, especially since I've…not been as good a brother as I should have been lately…" His tone becomes more solemn with the last few words. He looks at the ground and sighs, shaking his head. "Listen, Em…."

"You don't have to apologize," her speech is slurred by a full mouth. She swallows and then continues on, looking at Josh as she does so. "So you ran away from home…I don't really care what your reasons were for doing it. All I care about is that you do the right thing now and come home with me. Mom and Dad- they miss you, and I miss you…and Julia-"

"Can we not talk about this?" Standing straight now Josh looks intent at his sister- arms flailing in wild punctuation to his words. "I know that you all miss me, but I'm not going home. It's just NOT happening. Mom and Dad- they'll get along fine without me. It's not that I don't want to see them okay? It's just that they won't get what I'm going through and I don't want to burden anyone. As far as J-" just the thought of her makes him stutter. He slows down, putting a cupped hand against his cheek, the other arm hugging his waist as his stare is directed out the window of the kitchen. "Julia goes…I just don't want anyone else to be a victim of the problems that have overcome me…"

"You sound like a fucking thirteen-year-old girl with this whole 'no one gets what I'm going through' bullshit, Josh!" Emily stands, her motions fast enough to knock over the chair that she had just been sitting on causing Josh to turn his attention from the window to her. "I don't think that YOU get what everyone else has had to go through since you left us! I'll have you know that there is no 'Mom and Dad' anymore! They separated. I don't even see dad unless it's the holidays! And Julia? She LOVED you! Loved you, Josh. After you disappeared- not knowing if you were alive, dead, crazy- Julia just broke down. She couldn't take the stress of the situation. She tried to kill herself." Upon seeing her brother's eyes widen at this newly presented information she kept going in a calmer voice. "She…she jumped in front of a car on the highway. It was dark and the driver didn't see her in time to stop. She was in the hospital for weeks…"

Josh's mouth was hanging open in utter disbelief. In all of this time he had thought that his absence had been protecting the ones that he held so dear, now only to find out that he had ravaged and torn apart the most precious things to ever grace his life. Without saying a word he sprinted up the stairs- right through Sally, who then followed him back into his bedroom where he began to wildly pack a duffel bag. They both ignored Emily's screaming of his name from below.

"Josh I'm so sorry…" Sally began, sounding unsure of herself.

"Not now. I have to go." Josh said, throwing random items from on top of his dresser into the side compartments of his bag.

"What are you going to do? What about Aiden? And your job? I mean, I think you need to go too but-"

"There is no 'but'," he said, zippering his bag and throwing it over his shoulder. He looks up at her, tears streaming down his now pale face. "Tell Aiden…tell Aiden that I'll be back…I don't know when, but I will be." With that Josh started down the steps.

"Josh? Who are you talking to?"

"No one" He said, leading Emily to the door. They walked outside and down to Josh's car. He handed off his bag to his sister as they both got in.

"She's….she's paralyzed, you know. The car accident…it broke her spine. She hasn't been able to walk for about a year now…"

Julia's dreams of playing woman's soccer for her college flashed through Josh's mind as he turned the ignition. He had been running far too long- made far too many stupid choices. Had he really been so naive as to believe that he was the only victim of this curse?

"Where is she now?" He said, pulling the car out of its resting place and onto the road.

_But, I ask you this: what would happen to you if something in your day so drastically affected your life that you're kept away from that door? That you're kept away from that same bed- never again to have that same old scorching morning fuel poured down your throat, never again to see the faces of those who make your life worth living….Never again to see the face of the one that you held so dear? I'm here to tell you now that you will kill yourself everyday wishing for that normalcy- that warm little embrace that comes with knowing your future. Monsters like me…we have no future. Mine was left at home, neatly tucked somewhere in between what was and what could have been…And she will never know how much I loved her…_

Sally sat upon Josh's bed, staring blankly at the neat little paragraph in his journal- her heart aching. She didn't know what made her more upset: the fact that Josh loved this girl more than Danny could have ever loved her or the sight of Josh's tear stains on the pages.


End file.
